Normalize Your Coronavirus Anxiety

Hey there HOTMOMMAS! I hope you all are taking care of yourselves and feeling ok during these trying times. As I watched the news earlier today, I was thinking about how the travel bans, school closings, etc. may affect families and communities. My son’s Thespian Conference was cancelled then their school spring break was extended for an additional week and I can’t find any toilet paper😦. WTH…I had a flight planned to a conference which potentially is being cancelled and the cruise line that I service is closed. Not to mention the fact that I have been answering questions and dealing with other’s anxiety about the coronavirus for the past week or so. To say the least, this unanxious mama was starting to feel a little tension.

Although my youngest son was upset about these sudden changes with his long anticipated performance at Thespians, he’s had to maintain his stance that we were all still overreacting to this “Coronavirus”. As he continued to say this, it irritated us because he appeared to ignore some of the important facts and obvious reasons for concerns. Then a light bulb turned on in my head as I remembered that he has been taught to manage his anxiety. So a part of controlling his emotions, he refused to engage in conversations that heightened his anxiety and focused on his music and dancing….smart guy😉.

It’s so easy to allow the stress of the circumstances arising from the Covid-19 crisis to overwhelm us as we worry about our children and families. This worry can sometimes turn into anxiety and then a full blown anxiety attack and panic.

As a mom, it’s important to understand that anxiety is a normal way of dealing with a situation such as this. Theres lots to be concerned about but don’t allow your emotions to overcome you. Keep in mind that your teens may also experience anxiety and need to look to you for support during these trying times.

A few things you can do to minimize you and your children’s stress: focus on something other than the coronavirus, turn the TV off and don’t listen to all of the hype, ensure your teens that there are precautions we can take to protect ourselves and take this down time to focus on you and your family.

Continue to be safe and if you need to chat, feel free to reach out! Take care! ❤

Sheema

Video Game Addiction

When I first heard about “video game addiction” and read the article talking about kids being “addicted” to video games I was like really🤷! I have two teenage sons at home and we haven’t really been what you would call a “gamer family”. My sons have had the Nintendo Ds’s, XBox, Wii, etc. But they haven’t spent most of their time playing them. Lots of the times the game systems were collecting dust on the entertainment center.😁 So I had no worries about screen time, etc. for many years. They played outside, played sports, etc.

But then Fortnite came along last year and my oldest son has literally loss his God-given mind about this game. I mean, if you let him he can and will spend an entire day playing Fortnite on a lazy Saturday. He takes breaks to eat, use the bathroom, etc. but this had really gotten out of control quickly. I didn’t understand what the big deal was regarding this game🤷. It was really driving my hubby and I insane. We felt his grades were not the best because of his lack of focus, he’s spent money on the Microsoft account to by skins without permission, sneaking up after we’re asleep to play…. I know there are some moms and dads who can relate to this Fortnite foolery 😥.

So what did we do? We decided to use our leverage…THE GAME SYSTEM! First, we had a sit down discussion with him about discipline and managing his gaming behavior. Second, we came up with the rules, boundaries and consequences for not following the rules and boundaries. Third, when all else failed, the controller, keyboard, game system, etc. was confiscated and hidden until he was able to follow the rules and boundaries of gaming. Whew…I tell ya!😌 It was a journey and we still have to give reminders of the boundaries and rules and consequences but it’s much better.

Have you had this issue with your kids and their gaming habits? How did you deal with it? What rules did you put in place to help? Let me know!

❤️Sheema

Parents Are The #1 Dream Killers!

“Parents are the #1 dream killers!” I heard someone say this and I was blown away. I thought to myself that is a ridiculous and harsh statement. Why would parents want to kill their kids’ dreams? It doesn’t make sense. Then I began to think about what “dreaming” really means to the average person.

The average person will tell their child that life is about surviving and doing what you need to do to pay your bills, eat and maybe enjoy some simple pleasures in life. The average person may think to themselves at age 5–I wanna be a doctor, actress, astronaut but doesn’t truly see this as attainable. To the average person, dreaming about what could be or what you could have is simply living in a fantasy world. The average person probably grew up in a household where their creativeness and wide-eyed thinking was frowned upon and dismissed without a second thought. Instead, rhey were told to go to college or get a good paying job and stay there until you die if you can. Is that really our parenting goal, to raise an average person?

So, don’t get offended and hold your mouth open when someone calls you a dream killer if you’re a parent. Of course you may not have a problem with “entertaining” art classes or sports here and there but with the understanding that this is truly just to learn social and leadership skills–if you’re being truthful! Sure you don’t mean any harm and you just want the best for your child you say. But what if the best for your child is to allow them to explore their true creative nature. What if your dream killing is preventing the next star or genius to be born? Are you ok with that?

I have a creative child who loves acting, dancing and theater and wants to make a career put of it. So, I understand the concern with making sure they have a good life and keep their options open. But I also had an opportunity to go after what I wanted in life and they should have the same opportunities.

As a parent, I am preparing them for life and to make good sound decisions and the importance of not putting all of your eggs in one bag but to also follow your heart and your dreams. I encourage you to do the same and don’t kill your kids dreams just because you CHOSE not to follow yours! The Arts is dying a little more every generation so we have to make sure we allow our kids to sing, dance, make noisy music, act, write so they can find their passion and purpose.

Sheema 💜

Merry Christmas Hotmoms!

We are 14 days away from Christmas and I think I’m pretty much ready…I think! My sons are teenagers now, it so I don’t have the excitement of going shopping for the cool toys or things they’ve circled from the Toys R Us toy book anymore. So this year I wanted to focus more on bringing the joy, peace and happiness without all of the stuff.

I

hosted my annual Holiday Shopping Extravaganza the first weekend of December😊. It was a great opportunity to help local businesses and agencies showcase their products and services to the community. We can’t wait to do it again next year and bring more people together.

We have so many things to be thankful for! We had the opportunity to support a local non-profit and donate toys through my Hotmoms Life Club for Christmas. The vendors at the Extravaganza donated toys and bought raffle tickets to support our cause. I love doing my part to give back to the community but what I love the most is showing our sons the importance of giving back as well. I love being able to show them it’s just as important to focus on giving as it is on receiving😀. Which they love to do!

We usually go pick angels off of the tree but this year we wanted to do something a little different and we did. How do you teach your children about compassion and giving? Do you lead by example or just expect them to learn on their own? It’s important to teach our children about being kind to others, having empathy and treating others with respect always.

I know the holidays are not always a happy time for everyone but I hope you find peace this year! Have a wonderful holiday and we’ll see ya in the new year. 2019 here we come!! I hope you’re planning to join our Hotmoms Life Campus to get back on track in 2019 and start living your best life now not letter!

Sheema 💜

5th Annual HOTMOMS Experience was a Success!

The HOTMOMS was an awesome and liberating experience for moms in central Florida this year! There were wonderful guest speakers & panelists, lively attendees, delicious food, great vendors and more. The venue was fabulous and I couldn’t ask for a better atmosphere. My team did an awesome job as usual but they definitely stepped their game up this year as they made their stage debuts.😀 Here are a few pictures of the annual event. I can’t wait until next year–HOTMOMS 2019!

Taking care of your health is the ultimate act of self-care!

As I lay here in my bed recovering from surgery, I was so relieved that I’d finally taken care of my health. For years I’ve been dealing with annoying uterine fibroids. They came and they went but no big deal. I never had a reason to get surgery to have them removed because I wasn’t in any pain or discomfort.

Around 2014, I decided to get Essure implants which was the worst decision I ever made. At the 30-day follow up appointment, the ultrasound determined that one of the implants was no longer in the fallopian tube.😮 You gotta be freaking kidding me!! Of course I declined to have it re-inserted. Uh-Duh! My doctor suggested a partial hysterectomy since I wasn’t having anymore children.😒

Just to make a long story short, for the past 3 1/2 years I’ve suffered extremely heavy bleeding, painful cramping, fibroids growing and a week out of my life monthly where I could barely leave the house. But I’d lost trust in my gynecologist so I was hoping by some miracle to be able to avoid having a hysterectomy at all. As my quality of life continued to deteriorate, it became evident that a hysterectomy was inevitable. But a new doctor would have to do it and other health issues had to be addressed first.

So finally, in October I was medically cleared to have my Complete Robotic Hysterectomy and went under the knife.😌 Well, under the “robot” since a robot operated by my doctor performed my surgery. Recovering has been a journey to say the least but I was committed to letting my body guide the process and take it easy as needed! I don’t know about other mothers but that was hard to do for me but my husband is the true MVP. I’m not driving yet but I’m walking pretty good now. Just in time for the holiday season–yes!!

For any woman going through an experience like this, don’t wait 3 years to take care of your health–its too important. It is the ultimate act of self-care! As black women, we tend to ignore fibroids and other women issues but we must stop delaying our right to have a better quality of life. We’ll always be too busy🤷!

Share your stories. I’d love to hear them.

Black women & Breastfeeding!

I had the opportunity to visit the Tree of Life Birthing Center for a breastfeeding support group. I am far removed from the good ole breastfeeding days as my sons are 13 & 16. These days we have come a long way because I remember when I breastfed 16 years ago, I had an entire sheet over my son and I when in public. There were definitely no support groups and I often used the bathroom stall as a breastfeeding lounge due to a lack of options. I would not have even thought about exposing my breast because it wasn’t “proper” and remember finding somewhere private at home if we had company or was at someone else’s house. But I prevailed for 13 months 😁.

During my visit, I was able to talk with moms about the barriers that black mothers experience when they decide to breastfeed their children. Not that other mothers don’t experience barriers as well, but black moms breastfed at an alarmingly lower rate that white mothers and there are some specific reasons for this disparity between black & white mothers.
Here are some of the factors that these mothers stated prevented or made it difficult for black mothers to breastfeed:

*Lack of support in the community:
*Lack of Understanding of the importance of breastfeeding;
*Misconception that Formula is easier than nursing;
*Make nursing uncomfortable for women in the family;
*Employer constraints;
*Socioeconomic relationship to nursing or not;
*Connection to slavery (wet nursing);
*Having to cover up in your own house…Just to name a few. If you have a spouse, friend, partner, family member, co-worker, etc. who is nursing or considering breastfeeding please be supportive and non-judgmental. They need you!

❤️Sheema

An On-line Parenting Community

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SERENA WILLIAMS “The G.O.A.T.”

This woman is definitely the ultimate H.O.T.M.O.M.!! There’s been so much attention surrounding Serena Williams’ triumphant return to her career as a tennis player. I’m sure the question had been on people’s minds from the time she announced her pregnancy–will she still be great? There’s no question about her greatness as an athlete but I have to give credit where credit is due.

Whether you have a traumatic experience or not during your pregnancy, many women are faced with the challenges and decisions surrounding becoming a mother. Will my body snap back? Can I physically rise to the challenge? When do I return to work? How long should I stay home? Will I still be able to perform on the level I once did? What if I don’t want to return?😬 And not to mention the emotional journey of leaving a baby to return to work. Some people didn’t understand this mainly because they’ve never experienced a motherhood journey.

From a woman who experienced a traumatic experience during my delivery, I personally believe it was a big deal to for her to quickly return to this level of play after enduring such a traumatic experience. I was really career oriented and had educational goals that I scheduled to complete prior to having a baby and never imagined putting anything on hold. But I was committed to being a mother and viewed life through a different lens once it happened. I remember taking 1 year off before returning to work and then resigned after 30 days when I finally returned to work. Not to mention how my body physically changed, literally!😏🤦

Serena Williams is undoubtedly in greater physical shape than the average mother😉 but mothers can be inspired by her dedication, commitment, drive, and beast mode attitude that it took to get back on top inspite of her challenges. Even though she was already the G.O.A.T., it makes it all even sweeter when you add #motherhood to the resume when you do it!💪😁. Moms Rock! Welcome to the HOTMOMS Life Club Serena!!

Hotmom YaSheema💜